Why We Should Convert Our Republic To A Semi-Hereditary Divine Right Autocracy

 Have you ever looked about the state of this country and thought "This could be better?" Well, there was a specific time in history where indeed it was better. Every great empire has sought to emulate it, and it is the only state in the history of civilization to control the entire Mediterranean coast. As you could probably tell, the empire that is the topic of this blog post is the Roman Empire. 

It is obvious that the United States should emulate the Roman empire because the American government is based on the Roman republic. This can be seen in the names of our legislature, the architecture of our monuments, and our official symbols. "But Elliot," you ask, "shouldn't we try to emulate the Roman Republic instead?" Unfortunately, we've been doing that for the last 244 years, and it isn't working well. 

Like the Roman Republic's progression to the Roman Empire, the natural path for this nation to take is one of military dictatorship and constant civil wars every time one of those aforementioned military dictators doesn't have a charismatic successor due to a lack of codified succession laws. 

Switching to a benevolent autocracy has many benefits for the average person. (unless they are slaves because they practically ran the Roman economy) Under the first Roman Emperor, Augustus, populist politics and turbulent political violence in the city of Rome ceased. Augustus rebuilt the economy and distributed land to Roman veterans, ushering in 200 years of peace. When a civil war isn't occurring, having an autocrat rule for life is quite stable and prevents the other party from undoing all the progress of their predecessors every 4 years, at least until the emperor is assassinated, every general declares themselves emperor and they all march to Rome and the empire is in yet another civil war. At least there isn't any racism, though! (The modern usage of the word race only dates back to 1580)